so that wasnt chicken after all
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I need a beard to bite.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
