thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
