Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
