sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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