I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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