guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She announced her abortion via fbk
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
