I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
