Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
