GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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