It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
