Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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