I want to stick my p in your. b.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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