why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
