I cockslap morals
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
