at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
