I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
