He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
