my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
