we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Everclear isn't food dammit
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
