You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
