I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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