In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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