God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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