I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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