dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
