Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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