normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
