I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
