Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
