If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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