If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
