You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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