Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
