You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
