I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
