I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think people are normalizing furries
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
