i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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