We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
