I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
zippers are such a cool invention
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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