you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
jump out the window naked night went bad
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
