i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
