no, he came in my armpit
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
