i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
