I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
