No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
