I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
