he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
