Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
