its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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