I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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