i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't deserve a penis
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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