so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We have so much sex to catch up on
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
