Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
should my penis look like a turkey
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
