Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
