Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
