I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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