I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
