i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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